Spare, A Tale Worth Telling

January 6, a few days before Spare was released, I posted about it on Facebook, and got a reaction from a friend living in Britain: “Spare me - I think he’d have done better investing in a proper therapist than ‘writing’ a hate filled memoir. Won’t be on my reading list, excerpts were bad and unbelievable enough.”    

I responded to my friend’s comment: “I am curious as to what he has to say, particularly about his childhood and earlier years. I read a lot of memoirs (13 in 2022) by people in all walks of life and political persuasions. I did think the title “Spare” was interesting and telling. History is full of children who grow up with celebrity parents or those with great power and wealth, who are so often collateral damage to family ambitions, pathologies, and the media circus feeding off them.

My friend’s emphasis on “writing” reflects the speculation Spare had to have been written by someone else; as Harry points out in his book, the “Harry is thick” narrative has dogged him for some time. Not everyone has a witty quip or hard fact at the ready when pivoting with a scotch in social situations, especially when all cameras and microphones are pointed at you expectantly, and if they aren’t, the friend nearby may sell you out if the price is right.   

Depending on your industry source, they will tell you between 50% to 90% of all nonfiction autobiographies and memoirs have a ghostwriter, and many other types of books use them. There was a ghostwriter that collaborated with Harry on Spare, J.R. Moehringer (reportedly earned $1 million) who won the Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing two times before he started ghostwriting books. (You should read Moehringer’s own poignant memoir, The Tender Bar.)   

Once I started reading Spare, I quickly got the sense the narrative was Harry’s authentic voice, as though hundreds of hours of reminiscences had been recorded to organize and sift through later.  After reading (also listening to audiobook) 67% of the way into Spare, I found my reaction was not at all like the many social media posts and comments I’d noticed during reading breaks. I wondered if my response to Spare was unusual, and wanted to see what the Amazon ratings/reviews indicated.   

There are now more than 7,414 additional ratings than when I started Spare, and the Amazon ranking level of 4.6 out of 5 is still the same, with 79% of global readers giving it 5 stars. A 1/20/23 Amazon US review by “Anonymous” resonated with my own feelings: “I stand in amazement at the achievements of Harry’s life that FEW to NONE of us have even hoped to accomplish…To have traveled, fought in the war, and stood at the top and the bottom of the planet. How few of us have ventured to remote areas of the earth, even in our wildest dreams.”  

The book was interesting in terms of his early years, the palace public relations machine, the military training Harry received, what type and number of royal obligations he was involved with, his love of Africa and the adventures he had there including nurturing bonds with people, and so many behind the scenes memories of royal weddings, events, and travel. As I read, I was struck by his powerful attachments to family members, his mother, father, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. Most poignant for me were his granted wishes in two instances, to read, experience, and process information related to his mother’s death.    

Many people live lives in accordance with the expectations of others, and not in tune with the dictates of their own hearts. Living an inauthentic life is a prison sentence, and affects the way a person interacts in every aspect of their stolen life, which itself has repercussions, sometimes tragic, for themselves and all within their sphere of influence. Undue family influence comes in many forms, whether it’s parents who demanded the highest grades, expectations of excellence in sports or future vocation, pressures to choose a college, university, or spouse, and many additional social expectations in accordance with family wealth or station.   

Perhaps selfishly, I’m glad he published this book, because it hits home with the kind of pressures and difficulties all families live with, even prominent ones, and I now view them more compassionately. The voracious, incessant, largely unregulated media industry wages war against anyone that can fund photographers and their employing corporations’ financial dreams. It is a serious issue from many standpoints, and the experiences of veterans in that war have a story to tell.   

Harry consistently lobbied his family to take a position or action on the extreme amount of continuous, endangering, and egregious harassment he received from the press growing up, during his engagement, and after the wedding, as many in the royal family also experienced (some having sued the press). Repeatedly he was instructed to back off, and deal with the untruths by not reading them. After 38 years of letting hack journalists create the only narrative of his life, he took the initiative to tell his own story, regardless of the consequences.  

In her 1/19/23 review “We Need to Stop Psychoanalyzing Prince Harry He’s his own work in progress,” (medium.com), Karen Nimmo notes, “If the jury’s out for you, read the book. Don’t rush to dismiss it as the story of a pampered, privileged kid who can’t ‘move on’ from his grief. Read it for its insight into faulty family dynamics, of power struggles, of emotional deprivation, of love and grief, of jealousy, of things that show up in many families.”   

As with any nation, the current English monarchy and it’s members have the power and opportunity to demonstrate a global tone and defend what it values, love, health, authenticity, strength of country and family, what leadership should be, in a world fraught with challenges. Read Spare, and decide for yourself if it’s a tale worth telling.