A Moving and Powerful Portrait of a Family

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Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner is a poignant, honest, raw, joyful memoir that deals with being an only child of Korean and American parents growing up in Eugene, Oregon, the struggle to discover who you are in high school and as a young adult, mother daughter issues, family dynamics, an unexpected cancer diagnosis, being a caregiver while dealing with other family and friends involved, claiming your ethnic heritage, and living your own dream. It is a book many can relate to, while learning things about Korean culture and cuisine. I had no expectations about this memoir, but found it a very moving and powerful portrait of this nuclear and extended family. 

The high school conflicts between mother and daughter involve Michelle wanting to live her life as a musician, playing music in a group, having tattoos, and a mother who wanted her intelligent daughter to go to college and not end up living as a starving artist. When you’re transitioning from high school and living at home to the adult world, a lot of time may be spent disagreeing with parents. When a sudden medical diagnosis happens, you’re scrambling to deal with getting through it and coming out the other side, regretting your typical adolescent behavior in the face of potentially a parent’s life cut short, while grappling with the enormity of a worst case scenario. The story and emotions play out in the details of everyday living. Michelle suddenly thirsts for the knowledge of making many of the traditional recipes her mother and family members cook, Korean comfort foods, and regrets not taking better advantage of the Korean language program in her area. Suddenly being able to connect with extended family living abroad is important, but problematic if her mother is no longer with her to bridge the language barrier. 

I like the title of this book because it signals a moment when you feel your life completely coming apart right in the middle of a very public grocery store. For some, it could be a movie theater just as the credits are playing, for others another location, because when stress and grief collide, it’s rarely convenient or where you expect it. I have great respect for how Michelle navigated the churning waters of her family crisis, contributed greatly to her parents’ sense of well being, while carving out moments to create music, and forge a life beyond the storm. I’m now spending time on her YouTube channel “Japanese Breakfast” enjoying her music. 

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